What Is Your
Relational Style?
Discover the pattern that’s quietly shaping how you love, fight and connect. Rooted in Terry Real’s Relationship Grid, attachment theory and your conflict style.
Your Relational Grid
Are you ruling from grandiosity or shame? Walled-off or boundaryless? Discover your position on Terry Real’s Relationship Grid.
Your Attachment Pattern
Secure, Dismissive, Preoccupied or Fearful Avoidant — the blueprint formed before you had any say in it.
Your Conflict Style
When things get hard — do you pursue, withdraw, escalate or collapse? Your automatic move in conflict.
Your Full Portrait
All three lenses combined — your full relational portrait, with a clear path toward the centre of health.
This is for you if…
You keep having the same argument with your partner — different words, same wound.
You feel like you’re either too much or not enough in your relationships.
You love deeply but find real intimacy — being truly known — frightening or elusive.
You shut down when things get hard, or push harder than you mean to.
You sense that something from your past is quietly running the show in your relationship.
You’re ready to stop repeating the pattern — and curious enough to look at it honestly.
Learning to end relational conflict is a beautiful thing.
Just because you have a pattern — a blueprint, a history, an unconscious way of relating — does not mean you are stuck with it forever. It means you learned something, somewhere, that once kept you safe. And that part of you did its job beautifully.
But survival strategies make terrible love strategies.
The walling off that protected you as a child now keeps your partner at arm’s length. The boundarylessness that kept the peace then floods the room now. The shame you carry isn’t the truth of who you are — it’s a story that got written before you had any say in it.
Here is what I know to be true: we can change this. Not by becoming someone different. Not by trying harder or loving more carefully or walking on eggshells. But by learning — slowly, honestly, with support — to show up from a different place. A freer place. The centre of health.
This quiz is the beginning of that. A mirror. A map. A moment of honest self-reflection that, if you let it, can be the start of everything.
You didn’t come this far to keep hurting each other.
Your results are ready
Enter your name and email to receive your full Relational Style profile — plus a personalised letter written just for you, based on your exact results.
Ready to go deeper?
If something in your results has landed — and you’d like to explore what working together could look like — I’d love to hear from you.
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