One of you reads the question out loud. The other answers first. Then swap. Repair moves through five sections — what happened, finding your way back, going forward, finding the solution and rapid fire. Go at the pace that feels safe. There are no right answers — only honest ones.

These questions ask what was underneath the rupture. Not to relitigate it — to understand it. Most couples argue about the symptom, not the cause. These questions go to the cause.

This is where repair actually lives — not in the apology, but in what comes after. What accountability looks like in practice. What rebuilds trust. What the hurt person actually needs. Includes Terry Real’s Feedback Wheel — the four-step delivery (behaviour → the story I made up → the feeling → the request) that is the single most useful repair tool in RLT.

The relationship you are choosing to build. Not the one you had — the one you want. These questions exist for the couples who have been through something and are choosing to stay.

Rooted in Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (Steve de Shazer & Insoo Kim Berg). When analysing the problem stops helping, these are the questions therapists turn to. The miracle question. Scaling. Exception-finding. What has already worked — however small. These questions move couples out of the problem story and into the solution story. Powerful medicine when you feel stuck.

No thinking. First answer. Both at the same time. The disagreements are the most interesting — they reveal how differently two people experience repair itself. Pay attention to the ones where you clash — that is often where the next conversation lives.