One of you reads the question out loud. The other answers first. Then swap. Repair moves through three tiers — what happened, finding your way back and going forward. Go at the pace that feels safe. There are no right answers — only honest ones.

These questions ask what was underneath the rupture. Not to relitigate it — to understand it. Most couples argue about the symptom, not the cause. These questions go to the cause.

Revealing questions go one layer deeper than funny — and one layer safer than deep. Not what you think, but what you feel. Not what you did, but what it meant. These are the questions that make someone feel seen. The ones that turn two people who know each other into two people who understand each other.

The relationship you are choosing to build. Not the one you had — the one you want. These questions exist for the couples who have been through something and are choosing to stay.

Dreams questions are about the future you are building — not just the one you are in. What you want. What you hope for. What you have never said out loud because saying it makes it real and real things can be lost. John Gottman’s research shows that couples who share dreams and build meaning together are the ones who stay. These questions build that.

No thinking. First answer. Both at the same time. The disagreements are the most interesting — they reveal how differently two people can experience the same life. Rapid fire is not trivial. It shows you how someone lives, what they value in the small moments, where they might drive you quietly mad. Pay attention to the ones where you clash.