One of you reads the question out loud. The other answers first. Then swap. How We Live moves through three tiers — how we live, the hard ones and the future. There are no right answers — only honest ones. Start wherever feels right.

The everyday questions. Mornings, evenings, routines, rhythms. The small things that turn out to matter enormously when you actually share a life. Start here — they are lighter than they look.

Revealing questions go one layer deeper than funny — and one layer safer than deep. Not what you think, but what you feel. Not what you did, but what it meant. These are the questions that make someone feel seen. The ones that turn two people who know each other into two people who understand each other.

Pet peeves, phobias, non-negotiables and the things nobody thinks to mention until you are already living together. These questions exist so there are no surprises — only understanding.

The home and life you are building together. What you want it to feel like. What you want to protect. What enough looks like. These questions turn a house into a home.

Dreams questions are about the future you are building — not just the one you are in. What you want. What you hope for. What you have never said out loud because saying it makes it real and real things can be lost. John Gottman’s research shows that couples who share dreams and build meaning together are the ones who stay. These questions build that.

No thinking. First answer. Both at the same time. The disagreements are the most interesting — they reveal how differently two people can experience the same life. Rapid fire is not trivial. It shows you how someone lives, what they value in the small moments, where they might drive you quietly mad. Pay attention to the ones where you clash.